


Too Many Babies

by weebutwicked



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Babysitting, Background Castiel/Dean Winchester - Freeform, Big Brother Dean Winchester, Bisexual Female Character, Dean has too many babies, F/M, M/M, Queen of Hell Rowena MacLeod, Sassy Rowena MacLeod, Soft Baby Sam
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-04
Updated: 2020-03-04
Packaged: 2021-02-23 05:07:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,617
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23006215
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/weebutwicked/pseuds/weebutwicked
Summary: It was hard enough to say no to those sad pleading eyes when he was his normal tall and pouty but the small version of him? Her heart may not beat anymore but it was still feeling all flitter fluttery, which caused a sour expression to cross her face.This must be how it started with Fergus coming to their rescue all the time: the pleading looks on their stupid faces.
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester, Rowena MacLeod & Sam Winchester, Rowena MacLeod/Sam Winchester
Comments: 2
Kudos: 29





	Too Many Babies

**Author's Note:**

> So I wrote this before we knew anything about The Heroes Journey other than the fact there were two babies called Sam and Cas, so I ran with it. I ran with it hard. I've been tweaking it for ages since and finally decided to get round to posting it.

“Rowena!” Dean bellowed down the long daunting hallway. He was carrying one baby on each arm, super over the whole thing already. He did not remember Sam ever being this loud when they were kids. He couldn’t believe he was doing this **again** in his lifetime.

It was the same thing as always, hunt gone bad. Cas and Sam ended up at babies with only Dean to look after their helpless asses and he was at wits end trying to sort out how to change them back while also trying to rock one to sleep or feed the other and the crying, oh the crying.

Sam was still crying.

Bouncing his brother, the best he could given how full his other hand was, Dean tried talking to him. “Hey, buddy. Come on. Stop crying. How do you have this much air in your lungs, you’re not nine feet tall anymore.”

Spying two of Rowena’s buff leather-clad guards coming their way, Dean resisting rolling his eyes. The woman had an all-female hit squad and weird strong leather daddies backing her like a singer in a music video, but _he_ was the sexist one for making a crack about her lack of cooking skills the _one_ time.

Following behind them as he was led to the throne room, he knew the way thank you very much, didn’t need the escort, Dean once again came face to face with the new Queen of Hell enjoying her title just a bit too much.

Today the other men were fanning her with large pink peacock fans. Last time they had been feeding her grapes while she reclined on a chaise lounge. What was it gonna be next time and how did she keep getting all this furniture through those tiny ass doors?

Dean couldn’t carry the kids anymore, babies were oddly heavy for basically floppy sacks of potatoes, so he sunk down on knees that were cracking far more than they used to and set Sam down gently on his butt.

“All right, look. They’re babies.”

Rowena trilled with laughter, almost pitying the man. “Yes, dearie. I can see that. Ye have two babbies. A lady friend of yers from one of the road trips come back with a surprise or two?” She had to bite on her tongue to keep from continuing to embarrass him, though it would be _so_ easy.

Growling at the woman perched regally above him, with that shit eating grin on her face and her nose up in the air, Dean pointed at the older baby first and then to the younger one. “Sam. Cas. Help me fix this. It’s been two days already and I’m about ready to gank something. I am not equipped for dad hood.”

“What have ye done and whom did ye piss off now?”

“I don’t know, pick anybody. We got God on our asses, lady. Monsters out the wazoo. All our past enemies are coming out to play so pick one from fifteen years of hunting and let’s figure this out. We were up against a small mini coven, but this should have been done with already.”

Castiel was blinking slowly and looking around at his surroundings, waving an arm the best he could while Sam was busy sniffling quietly, half crying himself up and making grabby hands at the next person he saw, which bully for her, was Rowena.

It was hard enough to say no to those sad pleading eyes when he was his normal tall and pouty but the small version of him? Her heart may not beat anymore but it was still feeling all flitter fluttery, which caused a sour expression to cross her face.

This must be how it started with Fergus coming to their rescue all the time: the pleading looks on their stupid faces.

Pushing herself up off her throne, Rowena slowly sauntered down the steps in a royal blue blouse and long black and gold circle patterned skirt, looking far more the witch she was rather than the ruler of Hell she is and came to stand nearest Sam all the while curiously studying the baby Castiel.

“I know ye’d love to say a witch did this since it’s yer go to blame bot, but I don’t see that much witchery involved here, Dean-o. These boys are small but that’s just it, that’s all they are. This sort of trickery is easy magic, the sort of stuff a girl does for a wee bit of fun but… two days? Unless you crossed a witch such as myself recently, a spell'd have worn off already.”

Dean urged to cross his arms, this was helpful, but he wouldn’t admit it either. If it wasn’t a witch, what else could turn his brother and his… angel into kids? What was the point? They were formidable together so yeah, taking out two of them for a while would make it easier for the bad guy but…. “But there were witches.”

“Could still be something else. Come along, wee boy. We’ve got pesky souls to deal with and bargains to make while we see how to get ye a tall strapping man again.” Rowena cooed softly at the baby as she bent down to pick him up. He hadn’t stopped working himself up and reaching for her so now was the time to hush him before it evolved into full-on screaming.

She wasn’t sure she had **that** much energy in her today.

Glancing down at the baby in her arms, Rowena studied the tiny Winchester while he, in turn, looked up at her, lip quivering. She tucked a stray lock of hair behind his ear and he let out a loud sigh.

My, Sam really did make a cute baby. Whoever could possibly want to harm a hair on his little head when he was like this? Hard to think this little thing was also the giant she was “quite fond of” who could hunt monsters with his eyes closed.

Certainly not her.

Right now, he was all floppy limbs and beaming grins the minute he was in her arms, his hands going straight for her hair and trying to grasp it with uncoordinated grip, wanting to pull the few bits he did manage to get into his mouth. She tried not to take it as a sign of… something but was failing miserably.

A flash of a baby of her own but with Sam’s gentle eyes looking at her like this shot across her mind and she just shook it off, she was nearly four hundred years old for god’s sake. She’d had it once and ruined it and Rowena wasn’t likely to get that stroke of luck again.

Unlikelier was the chance of it happening with the hunter who never seemed to know when to call it quits and settle down himself.

“Right, so, take yer angel and see what ye can find in those books at the bunker, we’ll see what we’ve got here and compare later on?”

Dean just nodded and shifted Cas to his other arm, hesitant to leave his brother behind with the Queen. Of. Hell. He knew they could trust her, she literally died to save the world, to save his brother but, he – Sam was just so small and helpless, and she was surrounded by demons who may not have the same intentions.

She spied the look of distrust out of the corner of her eye, “don’t trust me with yer brother? Hero, I thought we were past this? I might have been a bit of a shit parent three some hundred years ago but I’ve _changed_ , besides, this lot aren’t as useless as they look, and they’ll do as told… and they’ll be supervised.”

Sam did look content in her arms, now reaching for her dangly earring to bat at and he had all but completely stopped crying. Even baby Sam had it bad for the former witch, it almost made him gag. “It’s not you, Rowena, it’s base instinct. I had to raise him as a kid, it’s weird seeing someone else with him, that’s all. I will call you when I find something or when I’ve taken care of it.”

Nodding in somewhat of an understanding, Rowena snapped Dean back to the bunker and after settling Cas into a car seat on the map table, facing him of course, he started to get to work. He was starting to think the witches had help with something, someone wanted **this** to happen and he just had to figure out how they did it.

Rowena, on the other hand, waited until Dean had disappeared and immediately made a beeline for the nearest designer baby shop to work her magic and arrange several cute new outfits for Sam, fully knowing he wouldn’t be in them long and that he would probably **hate** the price tag on them. “Usually it is I at yer mercy, Samuel, but not today. You and your tiny toes are all mine for the next say, twenty-four hours. Dean’s a slow reader.”

They left the shop some twenty minutes later, Sam in oversized white shades that he kept trying to pull at and several bags of non-flannel related shirts and bottoms as well as some cute little shoes. She was going to get so many photos of the giant before he turned back.

After that, it was like any other day in Hell. She had sinners begging for their lives, humans wanting to make deals to try and right their fuck ups, demons to claim. People to kill. Paperwork to pretend to look at… All the while Sam lay nestled in a little blanket rest perched upon a tinier throne next to her, having tuckered himself out with all his general existing.

Honestly, it looked hilarious, a tiny baby on a throne, his head thrown back and drool rolling down his chin. He was like that baby green thing everyone kept talking about. A mighty Boy King indeed.

It was a sinfully beautiful feeling to be the taller one for once though, sure everyone had to look up to her when they came to her throne, but she prided herself on rarely looking up at anyone in return. They were beneath her. Rowena was always the most important person in the room but sometimes she knew when the spotlight needed to be elsewhere.

Sam was a constant exception to her rule. She always looked up to him, in the past, it was to throw him off her trail or distract him with the flutter of her eyelashes and now it was something else, something deeper. There weren’t any games anymore when they looked at each other, just trust and understanding.

They didn’t have a so-called “profound bond” as Dean and Castiel did but it was something just as dear and strong. It all came to a head in that crypt, there was so much they could have said to each other and for a moment, she thought they were both about take things further. It was clear to them both how they felt.

It wasn’t meant to be though, Chuck didn’t give the Winchesters nice things and she’d done a fair share of good the last five, six years but it didn’t make up for the centuries of misuse. None of it changed how they felt about each other but she was slated to die and what was more poetic in Charles’ book than to die at the hands of the one you loved.

But she did it. She was alive, so to speak, a Queen and their bond was still there. They were getting another chance to circle around each other and that wasn’t because of Chuck. **She** did that, saved herself just as she always had, and Sam hadn’t completely lost all hope in the world after she was gone. He saved himself too. 

It was enough. It was something they could work with. They just had to turn the little moose back into a big moose first, which brought her to her next task, and Rowena was itching to get started.

Eventually, she got tired of the whining of her subjects, it was so bloody **boring** , she didn’t know how Fergus did it all those years. She would just rather be hitting the books to try and sort this for the boys. Normally it would be she and Sam volleying ideas and finding counterspells and this time it was just her. Maybe his smaller self could still help.

Somehow.

That had been her hope anyway.

What she got instead was little handprints all over her books in what was possibly honey, she hoped, and drool on the covers from where Sam had attempted to eat the books instead of sitting with them but all Sam had to do was grin at her and giggle softly and she couldn’t even be a bit mad at him.

She had it just as bad as he did, good gods.

His older self was still going to be embarrassed about the book defacing though. Baby or not.

Bedtime was another challenge. She had long forgotten what it was like to sleep with a baby nearby. Or the steps it took to put a fussy child down for the night. It had been over three hundred years after all.

So, there they both were, in their pyjamas staring at each other in silence. Her, in a crimson nightgown and hair, pulled up into a loose bun with curls falling free and him in little blue moose footie pyjamas with a dummy in one hand and a small cookie in the other that he kept trying to clumsily offer her every few seconds.

It was **cute** and the soft human feelings started surfacing again.

However; there were crumbs **everywhere**. He’d been munching on them for the last hour with no signs of stopping and while she couldn’t even say she’d seen the adult version of him eat this much, it was still impressive.

Good thing those cookies were specifically for babies and he wouldn't get sick on them.

“This is what you get, Rowena. You invite people in, they’re going to eat all the biscuits and leave crumbs on your bed. Samuel, you have manners. Babby or no, _use_ them.” She sighed and tried unsuccessfully to wipe at Sam’s cookie covered hands with a wet wipe while he clapped at her.

The entire right side of her bed was lined with pillows in a trench formation, so Samuel wouldn’t roll off it in the night. Not that she even thought him capable, but he was a very intelligent adult so who’s to say he wasn’t a smart baby too?

Dean probably, but she was nae going to ask him.

She wasn’t entirely certain any sleep would be had that night and while she didn’t _need_ it, her body was still adjusting to the fact she no longer needed to breathe, and it craved certain luxuries that her living self often enjoyed. Like sleep and chocolate… and pink champagne.

And sex, though that was unfulfilling with Hell’s concubines. 

“Strange to think I’ve seen both you boys at some of the worst moments of yer short lives. First Dean with his memory loss and grabby hands and now here ye are with grabby hands and sack of tatties like stature. I know ye cannae understand me but when this is all sorted out, I think it’s time we had a wee chat about us, yeah?” Rowena asked the baby, getting a small burp and laughter in reply.

“Charming, Samuel. Just charming. Okay, night, night now.”

Clapping her own hands together softly, the lights dimmed to a soft glow that she could still research under while Sam slept. Hopefully, he would anyway, babies were unpredictable. She resituated herself so her back was pressed against her headboard and propped open the first book on her lap and began to read.

She hadn’t found anything so far and briefly wondered how Dean was coming along but it was late, and she wasn’t about to make house calls to her not favourite Winchester when her actual favourite one was right next to her snoring his little head off.

As she continued to flip the pages, Rowena wondered about the witches they boys had gone after. Maybe there was something else there, things on the alter they touched or hexbags, talismans or coins that could have been thrown after the fact…

A Tiamat Coin could have been thrown into a cauldron or any sort of water really and that might do the trick. A Djinn. A crossroads deal was another way. Cocking her head to the side, Rowena clicked her tongue. Would one of them be that stupid to cross the Winchesters and more importantly, Her, in order to do this?

Naturally, given the wide net of their supernatural world, it could be any number of things. Dean had been correct when he said all their past hunts were coming back to haunt them and if any of them had decided to join up or trade tricks, it could be disastrous. Not only or them but also for her own reign. There was enough discourse to her rule as is.

She must have fallen asleep at some point because when she opened her eyes, a very sleepy and very _naked_ Sam Winchester was staring back at her with hazel eyes. The small blanket she's draped him in the night before had settled around his waist, barely. Maybe it was only covering half a leg. "Um. I have what I think is pyjamas on my foot and there are a lot of crumbs under my butt. What _happened_ exactly?"

All Rowena could do was throw her head back and laugh. Somehow the Hero had figured it out after all. Good for him. "You got yerselves turned into wee babbies, Samuel. Dean has the angel and left ye with me while we tried to sort it. So, jammies. Seems he found the missing bit and got it all fixed up."

"A baby? For how long? What did I do here?"

Sighing, Rowena snuggled back into her pillow, hair mussed and bits of it falling on her face. "He said two days. Slept mostly. Got yer grubby hands on my books and in my hair and one of the guards said you vomited on him at some point. You got a cute wee throne by me that all the sinners and demons had to look up at and… wee Sam is a _snuggler_ and eats more than his brother does, did ye know that?"

A red blush was rising along Sam's cheeks and he just wished the ground would eat him up at that moment, he couldn't believe his brother had just left him here with Rowena and expected it not to be weird given everything they had been through together the last year. They hadn't even seen each other since revealing she was alive to them. "I'm sorry he left me with you, you're so busy...."

"Nonsense, Samuel. He couldn't get ye to stop fussing, but ye sure gave it up when ye saw me and was happy as a clam after. I am extremely flattered to know that I am the true Samuel whisperer." She breathed, leaning closer to press a small kiss at the corner of his mouth. Pulling back a bit, Rowena slipped her hand back underneath her pillow to brace her chin. “You were a good lad, much better than Fergus was. He was bad at bein’ a baby. Just a grumpy pants all the time… at least he had his juggling.”

“Did you just compare me to your son?” Groaning, Sam pressed his hands against his face. Dean teased him a lot about the age difference and his apparently not so secret appreciation of the older witch. Now she was comparing him to the age of her now-deceased son.

Watching the range of emotions cross the hunter’s features, Rowena chuckled softly and squeezed his arm gently. “Oh _relax_ , Samuel. Yer brother’s angel is millennia of years older than I am, he’s got no pot to piss in on that one. Age is just a number, yeah? Besides, I don’t look a day over thirty-seven and I’ve been told I’ve got an exquisite arse. By yer brother no less!”

Grinning in agreement, he reached up to brush his fingers against his mouth where she kissed him and ducked in quickly to return the kiss, flashing her a warm but shy smile. "It’s not the ages or the teasing I’m worried about. I just, don’t want to lose you again. We lose everyone so suddenly but... clearly little me knows a thing or two that big me isn't very good at admitting yet."

"How to snuggle?" Rowena chuckled, reaching out to poke at his bare arm. 

Sam shook his head, hair in his eyes but the same soft expressions still laying there, "No. That I was comfortable enough with you completely to be left behind defenseless and I must have known I was safe and cared for. Thank you for that." Raising herself onto her elbow and flashing him a small smile, she leaned over his body, soft curves brushing against his arm, so she could grab her mobile from under his side and handed it to Sam. "Please text that brother of yers so he doesn't come barreling in without warning and bringing another baby, not sure I have it in me again this soon..."

Finally letting out a laugh of his own, Sam nodded and quickly wrote out a text letting him know he was fine and that he'd be home later before handing the phone back to her, making sure to run his fingers along the back of her small hand until he was low enough on her forearm to take it in his own larger hand. 

"What happens now, Rowena? I'm butt naked here bed with the Queen of Hell... with no spare clothes, someone got me into footie pyjamas that I can never look at the same way again and I... I killed you. The last time we were this close to each other, I did one of the hardest things I've ever had to do and I put a blade right _through_ you. I know you said it was okay but I don't know what happens now."

"What do ye **want** to happen now? We already had many a chance that we didn't take, do we really want to wait until _maybe_ we beat God himself to try at some form of happiness? I'm a very selfish woman, Sam. Everything in my life I've wanted I took it and now it's time to take what you want. I didn't **want** to die but it was the only way to stop them, to keep from losin' ye boys. I have no regrets over it. Stop yer waitin', who knows how much time we have to go before the whole world just disappears."

Sam nodding, biting the inside of his lip and finding his courage to shuffle closer, dragging the tiny blanket with him, even though it was doing him absolutely no favours, and wrapped his arm around her waist, the other one moving to cup her cheek gently. "You're right, we can't just keep dancing around each other like this. Chuck could snap the world into nothing whenever he feels like it. I don't want that to happen without you knowing what you mean to me."

Soft lips pressed hesitantly against hers, a question lingering between them that she didn't want to leave unanswered anymore, so she bit down on his lower lip before soothing it with her tongue. Sam rested his forehead against Rowena's and smiled, pulling back slightly to watch her reaction and then continuing. "If I'm going to stay I'm going to need some pants. I can't be one of your grape boys, Dean would kill me."

Wrapping her hands into Sam's long hair, Rowena let out a dramatic sigh and nodded, "Truly a loss for us all, imagine how many would flock just to see ye but aye, bottoms and yer also going to need to clean up the crumbs since it was yer wee hands that made the mess." Nodding his agreement, considering he did make the mess, Sam shuffled closer and rested his head on her shoulder, giving her sides a small squeeze as closed his eyes again. "I can do that, Your Majesty." He might be a bit more serious about what he calls her from now on but he could still be cheeky about her title for a little longer. 

Chuckling softly, Rowena continued to play with Sam’s hair. It was almost as soft as her own, and briefly, she wondered what he used to get it like this and if she could still somehow get him into the grape boy outfit at a time her choosing. For someone who has had a lot of sleep lately, Sam was still showing signs of being ready for more of it. “Haven’t had enough sleep in the last two days, dearie?”

Sam burrowed his face further into her clavicle and she felt his entire weight sigh into his response. “Being small is _exhausting_ , I feel like I could sleep for a week and I didn't even do anything. How do you do it all day?” He teased, fingers playing with her loose curls. He loved their height difference, how they fit together, being able to pick her up with little effort was going to become one of his favourite things.

Gasping in mock offense, Rowena swatted Sam’s bicep as his silence evolved into small laughter at her reaction. "I've had hundreds of years of practice, ye bampot. Ye were only teeny for two days, stow yer gob. Couldn't do anything yerself, at least I can do everything." Except reach tall cupboards but she hasn't got those. She was honest to Chuck almost pouting, the Queen had a very cute pout. "Go back to sleep and we'll find trousers in the morning. Dean and his angel will likely come stomping by midday so we've time."

Sam pressed a small kiss to her shoulder and closed his eyes, knowing he was as safe with his Queen like this as he was as a baby. Maybe Dean had known all along and that's why he left him behind. He might be blind to his own relationship with Cas but he was honed in on the relationships of others sometimes. Either way, he'd have to thank him tomorrow. No matter what Chuck did, who he'd try and take, Rowena would be there, they wouldn't let go without a fight. He wasn't going to let this new chance slip away from him this time.

No more sudden deaths.

No more sacrifices for the world.

They would have to find other ways to save everyone and they **would** , all of them. Together, as a family. Didn't matter what side. Heaven and Hell.

And if maybe someday they were all able to settle down, if she got tired of Hell and decided to hang up her crown and come play as a normal human, with him, then he would be there. Maybe someday they'd have kids of their own if that's what they wanted. Sam had spent a lot of time staring at Rowena when she wasn't looking as they grew closer, he could imagine a little girl with her mother's fiery red hair and small stature that he'd happily carry anywhere she wanted to go forever.

Yeah. That sounded nice. 


End file.
